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Picture update

Since I haven't done a post in so long, I thought I'd do a photo update. Here it goes!

Here's the little one in my tummy at 18 weeks!

When our boys ask to do crafts, it's not exactly what you'd expect...this is pretty typical of the kind of trouble they get into at "craft" time.

And here are our boys getting into more trouble...I found them behind the TV making a huge mess. I just had to take a photo before I escorted them out of there, and told them never to do that again. (Little monkeys!)

Munchkin #2 being his silly self:)

I love this picture of my Mason Man:)

When Dan went to Sask for his grandma's funeral, he made these placemats for the boys before he left so they could discover them at breakfast time. He's such a great dad!

The boys enjoying some peanut butter spoons and milk.

Ethan was so proud of himself for figuring this out...it's a little hard to tell by the picture, but the Busy Ball Popper is making the balloon float.

"How did I get myself into this mess??"

Ethan making a silly face

Playing at the park on a nice sunny day!

Ethan took this picture while the guys were getting ready to go outside. It turned out great!

The picture's pretty blurry, but this was when Dan decided to create a band with the boys. They were watching a John Mayer DVD, and pretending to play his songs:).

Mason having fun in our play tent

No, this picture isn't upside down...the boys flipped the tent over and were playing in the upside down tent!

Mason decided to play a little game of peek-a-boo after his bath:)

Ethan pulled some paper bags out of the craft bin and decided that they would make good shoes. When I asked him to smile for the camera, he made this face:).

My littlest cutie!

The boys asked for some fish crackers, and as soon as I handed over their little snack bowls, they dumped the crackers on the floor and pretended to be puppies. Not sure why these guys enjoy eating off the floor so much...

Our two little studs!

Mason likes to lay down at random times and pretend to sleep...this time, he decided to lay down on the play table, and started to make snoring sounds:).

Ethan having fun with his marble set...he doesn't have enough patience to build a large set, so he usually snaps a few pieces together, then asks for a marble to try it out.

This is how our little monkey turns on and off the light in the boys' room, since the light switch is quite high up. We took this picture when he first figured out this trick. Since then, he's learned to wrap his left arm around the top rung on the side of the bookshelf.

Ethan's being silly while showing off his new Lightning McQueen bedding. I tried buying Cars bedding at the store back when Ethan first moved into his bed, but the material was so rough that it gave him a rash. I was really excited when I found some Cars fleece and flannelette at Fabricland. The materials were MUCH softer than the store bedding, so I made him a fleece blanket and a flannel pillowcase. So far they've been a hit!

Don't be fooled by this adorable picture...he really is a trouble maker (but a cute one!).

Just lounging on the toy bin...so comfy!

Mason climbing all over his new bed frame before it's fully assembled. He's been sleeping in his new bed for a while now (in what is now the room that the boys share), and doing really well! We wanted to switch him over early so everyone would have time to get used to the new sleep situation before Baby comes along.

I was folding laundry, and Ethan decided he wanted to put on one of my shirts. Then of course Mason had to wear one too. When they were both dressed in their oversized shirts, Ethan said to me, "Look Mom, we're princesses!" I had a pretty good laugh over that! I might have to keep this photo handy for their weddings:).

Little Mason Man trying on his brother's underwear (over top of his diaper) - so cute!

Ahhh, brothers. They are always wrestling!

Smiling for the camera:)

Ethan was so sweet...he had set up chairs for himself & Chillsy (the little bear in the other Lightning McQueen chair). He also set up chairs for Mason, Mom, and Dad. He said he was pretending to watch Dinosaur Train. He even grabbed a mechanical dinosaur, put it on the floor in front of the chairs, pressed the button, and ran back to his chair to watch the "show."

The brothers sharing some fish crackers.

This is probably the only picture we have of the four cousins all together! (They don't look very happy because they're watching something on TV, and they're very focused.)

This has become part of our bedtime routine with the boys: Dan lets them play a few minutes of games on his iphone (although now they use the ipad) before reading books and going to sleep. The boys have to be as close as possible to the screen, so they squish together on the bed:).

Ethan put this blanket on the floor, and both boys laid down and pretended to sleep - it was so cute!

The boys were following a little bug all over the playroom until his short little life came to an end when Mason introduced him to a ball...

Mason decided it was bath time, so he took matters into his own hands and climbed right in!

Dan took this picture as he was leaving the house to go to work. This is usually what happens every morning...the boys plaster themselves against the window to watch Dad leave (often with some tears from Mason).

Ethan's ready to play restaurant! My mom saved this outfit from when we were kids. I think I remember my sister wearing the visor upside down too...

Having some fun in the wagon

Mason loves riding around on the trike!

Ethan is fascinated by worms...we found this one the last time we were outside (although I don't think it was even alive). He always asks us to touch worms and pick them up, but refuses to touch them himself. Funny guy:).

Dan took this picture of Ethan and Auntie Dayna having fun with Photobooth on Dan's new ipad. Ethan's face is priceless - he was laughing so hard!

I think I'm ready to share...

As you can probably tell from the title, this isn't going to be a light-hearted post. There's something Dan & I have been keeping to ourselves for the last nine months, and now that we feel we've had enough time to process everything that's happened, we're ready to share what's been going on. I don't normally share personal issues on my blog, but this time, it somehow feels therapeutic to put things in writing.

As you all know by now, I'm pregnant! Dan & I couldn't be more excited, and we can't wait to welcome this little one into our family this summer! What you don't know, is that this is not my third pregnancy...or even my fourth. This is actually number five. So, here it goes...

In spring of 2010, Dan and I decided that we were ready to try for Baby #3, so we were delighted when we got that positive pregnancy test! I started feeling extremely tired right away, and I had lots of food aversions. Everything was just as it should be in early pregnancy, so we had no reason to suspect that anything was wrong. We were looking forward to Baby #3 joining our family. Without warning, I started bleeding (something that didn't happen at all with my first two pregnancies). I knew something was very wrong, so I rushed to the ER where, after several hours of waiting in a room alone with no idea what was happening, I was told that I was no longer pregnant. It took everything I had not to break down right there in front of the doctor. So I rushed out of the hospital, and the moment I sat down in the driver's seat of my car, I burst into tears. I don't think I've ever felt so alone in my life. I honestly wanted to die, because it felt like too much to handle. After having two wonderful little boys in my life already, I knew exactly how precious and fragile that baby was. I know that there was nothing I could do to prevent that miscarriage, but I couldn't help but feel like it was somehow my fault. During pregnancy, a mother is supposed to do everything she can to keep her baby safe and healthy, and I wasn't able to do that. I had failed my baby. I cried for weeks, months. I couldn't handle being around other people, so I avoided every single social event that I was invited to for a few months, with two exceptions. The day I miscarried was the day before Father's Day, and two days before Mason's first birthday. That Father's Day was also the day of Mason's baby dedication at church. I so badly wanted to cancel his dedication and stay home, but my mommy guilt kicked in, and I couldn't let my issues affect my kids. So I managed to hold it together long enough to make it through the dedication, but the moment it was done, we went home. Then we had Mason's birthday party the next day, and thankfully, it was just family, because we had told our family what had happened so I knew they would understand if I suddenly burst into tears. I felt so torn because I wanted to be excited for Mason on his big weekend and all his milestones, but I also wanted to crawl into bed and hide. I was so thankful once those events were over, because then I could stay home and focus on processing everything that had happened.

We spoke to our family doctor about the miscarriage, and he suggested that we wait a while before trying to get pregnant again. So we waited, and eventually we got that wonderful positive test again. We were so excited! I had been waiting to get pregnant again, because I just wanted to get back to where we had left off. But as excited as we were, we couldn't help but feel like the baby could be taken away from us again. I felt very guarded. Sure enough, a few days after we got the positive test, I started bleeding again. I knew right away what was happening, and I didn't bother going to the ER. A few days later, we told our family doctor the situation, and he ordered some bloodwork to confirm what we already knew. I couldn't believe that we were reliving the same nightmare. Not only did I have a tough time dealing with a second miscarriage, but I started to worry that something was wrong with me, and that we wouldn't be able to have another baby. It was a little frustrating to find out that the doctors won't do any testing (fertility, etc.) until you've had three miscarriages. So all we could do was wait and see.

Thankfully, after all of this, we were able to get pregnant again! I am now approx. 13 weeks along, and I got to see our baby at an ultrasound. He/she has a healthy heartbeat, and was moving around a lot (even the ultrasound technician mentioned that the baby was really active!), so that was a big relief. However, we are always aware that nothing is certain, and that we can't take this baby for granted. We pray that the rest of this pregnancy will go smoothly with no complications, and if all goes well, we'll get to meet this precious little one in about six months!

Oops! I guess it's been a while...

Well, it looks like I'll be doing a little catch up today since I've been neglecting my blog for the last four months! I guess I'll start off with an update on the boys.

Ethan is growing up so quickly, and we are constantly amazed at how much he has learned in his short little life so far. Although he's definitely a typical three year old, sometimes I feel like he's much older. Ethan will often take the time to teach Mason, or patiently explain something to him. I'll overhear him saying things like, "see Mason, this is how to be gentle" or "I'm sorry Mason, but that's not a Mason toy." He's such a good big brother, and we're so proud of him! Like most kids his age, Ethan also says the funniest things:). One time, Ethan was playing with his cousin Myra at Grandma & Grandpa Loewen's house, and they were playing on the treadmill. Myra ended up falling in the space between the treadmill and the wall (there was a base heater on the wall). Understandably, she started crying. Then a few minutes later, the same thing happened to Ethan. But when he fell, he paused for a moment (I was waiting for the tears), then he calmly said, "see, you don't need to cry." Another time, Dan had asked Ethan if he wanted to come with him to Timmy's (which Ethan usually loves and looks forward to!). But Ethan said, "no, I want to go to Starbucks." Oh, Ethan...what are we going to do with you:)!

And then there's our little "Maynon Man." Mason is growing and learning so much every day. He started talking a bit, and he's always learning new words. His current favourites are "air-pay!" (airplane), various animal sounds (moo, neigh, meow, and a few others), "choo choo!" (whenever he plays with trains or sees Thomas), "Dad, Dad, Dad!!!" (he says this while squealing and laughing whenever Dan comes home from work - so precious!), and a handful of other words. For the last few months, he's been "talking," but only in gibberish. He would have entire conversations with us in gibberish, as if we understood what he was saying! Such a cutie:). Mason has also been learning more and more about boundaries, which has been challenging, but cute at the same time:). One of his favourite things to do these days is to climb furniture and stand on it while smiling at me (just to show me that he's a little goof, and that he knows he's getting into trouble!). The couches in our living room are arranged in an L shape, with a coffee/side table in the corner. Mason loves to climb the table, stand on it, then dive onto the couch. What a monkey! Our kids aren't allowed to play on the furniture like this, but he's so quick that he usually gets in a dive or two before I can grab him:).

Well, that's my update on our crazy boys! Now for some photos of them...

Ethan playing with one of his favourite toys...his train set. (He spends HOURS playing with his trains!)

The boys using "teamwork" (Ethan's words) to pick up the pumpkin together:)

This is from a previous post because I wasn't able to get a good photo of Ethan wearing his Halloween costume (he's not a big fan of having his picture taken).

Mason got right in there, helping us clean out the pumpkins! There are no pictures of Ethan doing this because the poor guy started gagging as soon as I cut off the top of the first pumpkin. (Just like his mom, he's very sensitive to smells.) Hopefully next year will be different!

Here's Mason all dressed up, and ready to go out trick-or-treating!

We had just gone to Costco, and Ethan had a blast playing with some of our purchases:). (Remind me again why we spend money on toys??)

Big Brother trying to help Little Brother fit into a basket that is far too small for him!

Playing bumper cars...one of the many rough games they like to play together

My cuties:)

My littlest goof with food stuck to his forehead!

Snow!! We took advantage of the one day of snow we had so far this year, and the boys had so much fun!

This was Mason's first time playing in the snow, since last year he was too little. He loved it!

It's about time these kids started pulling their own weight around here:)! Well, someday...

Ethan plays so well with Mason, and Mason loves him for it!

Ethan has a few colour changer cars, so the boys like to dip them in water to change the colours. However, this is how that activity usually ends up:).